Dear Luna Finula,
It’s Siobhan here. That girl who appears to have abandoned you. I’m sorry, I really am. I have so many scribbled thoughts, travel tales and random figments of inspiration to share on your little space, but I have neglected to actually write them here and have instead been putting ink to paper and sharing them with only myself. I don’t know why. It could be procrastination, it could be laziness, it could be that I think publicising my thoughts for all the world to see is a bit weird and why would you all want to read what I have to say anyway? I kind of miss the way I blogged back when I first started in 2010. I did it almost everyday and I did it for myself. I would write about how I thought a skyscraper was magical or how a taxi driver was psychic or the beautiful way in which old people danced on the streets here in China. I wrote without abandon. I didn’t care if anyone even read what I wrote. It was something I did while eating peanut butter on crackers. A way of processing the crazy day that had just occurred. Perhaps hoping to make someone laugh or inspire someone to notice the little strange things that happen every single day, the things that make life so special. Lately though, I’ve almost lost that part of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I still absolutely revel in the delights of little things and all their simple beauty, but I’ve stopped sharing them, haven’t I? I need to write. Even when it doesn’t make sense, or when I’ve nothing worthwhile to say. Because what I think isn’t worthwhile, might mean something to someone else. So I’d like to start writing here again Luna Finula, if you’ll take me back?
I have a gazillion adventures I’d like to share with you. Simple adventures and big, rollercoaster adventures. I want to tell you about the hilarious monsoon rain that we had here in Shenzhen last Friday. There was something utterly fantastic about running through the rain, screaming and laughing as it lashed down into my boots and broke my umbrella with the sheer weight of all its droplets. The moment where I locked eyes with an old, frail man who was jogging through the rain completely barefoot. As I caught his twinkling eyes with my own, we both burst out laughing. Completely raw, gut-wrenching laughter. He threw his head back and howled and I screamed like a 5 year old child. It is those moments that make me want to write again and to fall in love with this country once more. China is absolutely, mind-blowingly crazy. After 5 years, I still don’t understand half of the stuff I see on a daily basis, and yet I must love it nonetheless, or why else would I still be here? Well, I think I know why and it doesn’t really have anything to do with a specific location. I could be anywhere, but as long as I have moments like laughing in the rain with a stranger- and an old, short, frail Chinese man at that- then I’ll be OK. At the end of the day, isn’t that what this silly, old world is all about? Living life to the full. Even if it means getting totally drenched along the way, so much so that you have to take your clothes off and wear a sarong in the office for the rest of the afternoon.
Luna Finula, I’m back. I’m going to stop thinking so much and just write. Write about laughing attacks with old men, write about purple flowers growing out of the pavement, write about love and how we seem to have forgotten how to be kind to one another, about mind readers and the simple innocence of kids. Actually, about anything really. I just need to write again. Maybe I’ll even share some of my ink ramblings from the past few months.
Siobhan- your apologetic neglecter who owes you many an adventure.