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strange man why are you in my house?

Ummm OK so in my head I usually conjure up stupid thoughts like ‘imagine if I am sitting on the toilet with the door wide open and some strange man enters my house to frighten me?!’. Well Siobhan, that just happened. Minus the toilet part. But only just. So always close the bathroom door. AND ALWAYS LOCK YOUR FRONT DOOR YOU STUPID FOOL!

Here I am, chilling on the sofa, listening to CSS, chatting to Dan on skype. I hear the door opening and I think oh that’s a bit strange because I’m talking to Dan on skype, so how can he be coming through our door at the same time?!

Yes Siobhan. A random man is entering your house. No knock. No rat-a-tat-tat. Just sneakily opens the door, peaking his head around the corner. By this point my heart is about to explode out of my chest and somehow I manage to squeak a little ‘hello?!!!’ He says ‘ohh hello’ back and then closes the door as slowly as a freaking snail. Ummm get the hell out of my house!!

I’m surprised I can write this right now, as it literally happened 2minutes ago. I just ran to the door in my panic attack state and managed to lock the door and turn ALL the lights on.

It’s bizarre because it was the exact same man from my nightmare last week.

Firstly let me tell you another story. I was riding the metro at around 9pm one night last week and enjoying a Murakami story when I felt a hot breath on the back of my neck. I turned around only to come face to face with a drunken old man. Delightful. Just what I want after 12hours of teaching. The more I moved away from him, the more fun he had moving closer to me. As we zoomed into my stop, I ran to the door, and of course he followed, brushed up against my back and proceeded to literally chase me up the stairs. OK so maybe he was just in a rush, but being my drama-queen self, I fully believed he was chasing me, so I ran up the stairs 4 at a time, screaming, heart pounding, head constantly turned back watching him get closer and closer. He knew I thought he was chasing me, so he speeded up and ran straight past me laughing. Urghh.

So, only naturally, having a mind like mine, I had a nightmare about him that very evening. Of course in this so-called nightmare he turned into a dwarf and sneaked into my house with a knife to kill me. I offered him Y200 and made him promise not to kill me. Then I woke up.

And here I am today, trying to relax, and he comes straight through my freaking front door to haunt me once again. What’s a girl got to do to get some peace in this city/ in my mind?!

Oh my life. It never fails to amuse. Definitely time to finish this wine and get into bed, locking every single door/window/balcony behind me. Heart please calm down now. He is NOT coming back.

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